Shameless Soul

I WON’T BE ASHAMED! THIS FOR EVERY WOMEN WHO DWELLS UNDER THE HEAVY ROCK OF SHAME. SHAME IS THE BREEDING GROUND FOR DRUG ABUSE, SELF HATE, AND DEPRESSION. WITH MY TRUTH I WILL BREAK GENERATIONAL CURSES. IN HOPES THAT MY CHILDREN WILL NEVER HAVE TO CARRY THE BURDEN OF SHAME. I think the sun was shinning on this day. I don’t remember it being cold. I was 13 years old in the 7th grade when I lost my virginity. I meet a man on the chat line. Yes, a man. Now that I think about it he was properly in his late 20’s. He pick me up from Griener Middle School, I remember thinking on the ride to his house, “ Man he lives far”We pulled up to some apartments. When we walked in there was a man sitting on the couch. He lead me to his what guess was his room. It was dirty and there was no bed. We didn’t talk much. He told me to take off my clothes. I pulled off my uniform and lay on the floor. I was so scared but remember thinking to myself, “I don’t want to do this” But I felt like it was too late to turn back. Too late to say no. The only thing I could think to say is something I learned in sex ed. I whispered under my breath, “ Do you have a condom?” as he got on top of me. He looked around the room and spotted a Kroger bag. He wrapped it around his penis and shoved it inside of me. It hurt, I remember wanting to throw up. It didn’t last that long, thank God! When he was done he called for the man on the couch to come in the bedroom. “It’s my turn now” he said, as he pulled out his penis through the zipper of his pants. He shoved it inside of me. All I could think of on the ride home was, I hope I make it back to school before it’s time for my mother to pick me up.